Why Women No Like Grug?
Posted on Day of Cloud that Look Like Fish by Grug
Hi. Sorry Grug not post in so long, but Grug having bit of rough patch. Me tell you about it now.
Alright, so, other day, Grug chatting with Crokella, trying talk Crokella into doing boom-boom, right? So Grug turns on charm with joke-make. Crokella laugh Grug’s joke, which Grug now repeat for sake of readers:
Grug: What call bright ball in sky?
Crokella: Not know. What call bright ball in sky?
Grug: Eye of Creator.
Grug know, Grug hilarious. People tell Grug do stand-up, but since boulder fall on Grug leg and Grug leg get smashed, that not exactly feasible, if you know what him mean. But anyway, Crokella laugh so hard her nose bleed, and even though she has sickness that make her nose bleed at all times, Grug notice her nose bleed extra hard for him. Grug thinks Crokella do boom-boom now if Grug ask. Grug prepares for sealing of deal.
But guess who come up and cut in on Grug moves? Arch-nemesis Hork, that who. Grrr.
If you recall Grug previous post on Day of Bird that Fall From Sky, you notice that this not first time Hork block cock of Grug. It seem like every time Grug talk to women, Hork just so happen to be there to cramp Grug style and cash in on Grug effort. Hork steal Ooki from Grug on Day of Wind that Smell Like Death, and then on Day of Stogg Being Killed by Ox Stampede he steal Trogg, sister of Stogg. Of course, Trogg had boom-boom virus that infect Hork and cause Hork much pain and probably death soon, but Grug not one to laugh at people’s misfortune, unless misfortune happen to be on Hork, in which case Grug laugh all night and day.
What me talking about? Oh yeah.
Well, so Hork cut in on Grug today and say to Crokella, “Unh. Hork not Fred Flinstone, but Hork make Crokella bed rock.”
There so many things about that statement Grug not get, him not even try to understand. But Crokella seem interested in Hork suddenly. She giggle and place hand on Hork arm, and Hork look back at Grug and sneer. Then he grab Crokella by hair and drag her into cave for boom-boom. Then Grug heart shatter.
Grug know there plenty of fish in sea, but Crokella special to Grug. She only one who “get him.” She catch glimpse of the tortured soul behind him festering leg wound that come from bite of rattling snake. She know what pain Grug go through, both in thoughts and in rattling snake wound. Did Grug ever mention how much of bitch this snake wound is? What purpose snake, anyway? “Oh, me snake, me sleep all day, then wake up and bite Grug on leg.” Am Grug right? (Note to self: Write more about rattling snake later—comic gold.)
Sure, it easy for Hork to make boom-boom, what with his broad shoulders and six teeth. Sure, Hork look good in skin of bear, but when Grug wear bear skin it baggy and make him look like salesman of rock insurance. But Grug have something Hork not have: brain. Grug brain capable of thinking things Hork not come up with in a million disappearings of Eye of Creator. Grug have smart.
But Grug rather have boom-boom.
Argh! Grug, like, seriously thinking about smashing Hork skull in with rock! Like seriously. But Grug know violence not answer, because Hork is bigger and have sharper teeth. Maybe Grug convincing Argh to do it.
Will Grug ever find love? Him not know. Him guess all there is to do is live life and work on inventions, even though him know it pointless. Grug square-shaped rock was failure; Grug triangle-shaped rock was loser; Grug isotoxal decagram-shaped rock was no-hope. Grug guess this will be last invention. If circle-shaped rock with hole in middle not success, Grug just hang up belt and die.
Please leaving Grug comments!
Currently listening to: Mammoths walking around
Mood: Frustrated }:(
See Art Blog of Grog for more caveman blog humor (why would you ever do that)