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Birth Johnny Guglielmo, you’ll never kill me you dirty motherf… What the? Where’d he go? And why am I all slimy? And who’s that broad on the bed with her legs all spread out—oh god, I ain’t gettin’ that outta my head anytime soon. Alright doc, sponge me off already. And get me a glass…
Continue Reading“Professor Jabbers”: Yale accidentally gives full tenure to an orangutan to teach advanced chemistry. He turns out to be an excellent teacher and the movie ends up with him being appointed Dean. Amy Adams plays love interest. A hat that makes everyone think you’re cool but constantly feeds personal insults and criticisms into your brain….
Continue Reading911: 911, what is your emergency? Caller: Oh God oh God oh God Oh God 911: Sir? Caller: Oh God oh God Oh God 911: Sir, please calm down and tell me your emergency. Caller: Oh God my girlfriend is choking on a cape. 911: Can you repeat that? Caller: My girlfriend. She’s choking on a…
Continue ReadingNow, you’re probably thinking Frank Speed was the weirdest criminal we ever faced. Pal, you ain’t heard nothin’. Let me tell you a story about Joe Standup. Joe was actually the first criminal I ever faced. I was a rookie then, just like you are now, runnin’ around, doin’ grunt work, basically being a worthless…
Continue ReadingCommander Liberty, the leader of the Hero Coalition, eyed the two superheroes across the table and they stared back at him. They were in the Hall of Conscientious Dealings, or, as it was known to the data entry company sharing the same office building, the fifth-floor conference room. In front of Liberty was a clipboard…
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